It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
