This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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