I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
