Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize