we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
