What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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