Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
