i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
