I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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