Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I will be naked everywhere
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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