I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
