What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
