so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
