I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
