good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
