There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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