don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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