he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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