Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
