i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
