Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
