All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
