Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
