We should be called the Road Head Warriors
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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