He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We left the knife in your bed.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize