it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
