Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
