Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
