so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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