I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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