once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
