I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
