:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
