the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
