Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Houston, we have a squirter
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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