I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
