I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
