you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
