Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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