Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just want nice things and good sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
