Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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