You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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