he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish you could order shots online.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
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