Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize