hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We left an ass print on the piano.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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