I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
