do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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