Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize