Sry I called you an 8
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
