i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
