This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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