He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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