I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
