suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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