I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
