The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
