just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
