Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize