we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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