Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
