she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
