You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize