Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize