I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do vagina's smell?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize