Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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